I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
