you didnt know i had herpes?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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