I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
