I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
