im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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