So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
