my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
