I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
