You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
