Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
