okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
