you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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