I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
