need another drink. this is the easiest way
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
