Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
