So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
