so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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