I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
