Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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