You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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