My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
