Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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