I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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