i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
