she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
