upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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