4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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