i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
