Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's blow job season.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
