so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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