i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
