one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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