He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the liver wants what the liver wants
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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