I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
