Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
