Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we made out on top of his cat.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
