She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
