i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize