I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
