So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
