U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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