I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
