I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
