I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
