Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
