I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
