She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
