Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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