Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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