jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize