She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
