The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
