Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
